SEEING RED

i'm not yelling you just need to turn down your computer

so what do you think happens when you are down to your last bit of red and were too lazy last week to bother ordering more (always with that thought in the back of the head that hey if i run out i cant work so i'll just go to the beach) . i decide, despite the brain squishing migraine that has clobbered me since a nap yesterday, to dye a few things so that tomorrow won't be as busy. i have two bottles of red left but of course that won't go far when i just got an order for 10 katerina veils.

we haven't put up a tent yet, just tied a tarp that has snapped the cords twice due to strong winds. i could hear my husband outside yesterday beating the hell out of something and i assumed he was hammering something into place to tie down the tarp again. it snapped. again. it's still fastened on one side, the leeward side, and it's blowing like a bitch in the wind. snapping. flapping. driving me nuts. but you won't see me get on a ladder to fix it. i should stay out of high places.

so being the brainiac i pulled the loose end down and weighted it with the fallen ladder. surely that will hold it. i'm lucky i didnt get my head sliced off when it lifted up. no really i did graduate college.

i weighted it down again with tubs of water. i'm lazy and wanted to get my work done. please note i dont have to dye today. it can wait. but i like punishment.

my arrangement was secure and i was feeling cocky and dyed a few different things, saving the red stuff til last. two katerina veils were reaching perfection when the tarp snapped in the wind again, first dragging the tub of water across the lawn then spilling it. the red dye that had of course been sitting next to it flipped in the air, sprayed me and the tarp, and now the tarp was flapping in the wind, covered in red. it was red rain. it was someone's blood. i was ready to kill. i wanted to beat my neighbor and his dog. i knew they were next door watching and laughing. assholes.

he heard me swear. he heard me say the muther of all words. you know the one. "ooohhhhhhhh fuuuuuuuuuuuudge" except i didnt say fudge. bonus points if you know what movie that is from. here's a hint it's a xmas classic.

to top it off i was rinsing the station with a hose that got out of control and ended up soaking my pants. i knew if i undressed down to my skivvies on the back porch someone would see but i did it anyways. i ate some potato chips to console my battle wounds and looking at the clock, it looks like i have a bit over two hours to wash up, lay down and stretch, and gather myself before picking up the baby.

those goddam veils better turn out nice.