Yesterday was a five hour orientation back into a life I left behind 9 years ago for too many reasons to count. I do not know what lies ahead and can't pre-judge my reactions but it's sort of like being previously married and then entering into a new marriage with more info and experience about what to expect..knowing that nursing is not a fairy tale where you put bandaids on people and heal them and they smile and everyone is saved. I have 9 years more life experience , am more confident in myself as a person, am more assertive dealing with crappy attitude people, and found that I truly do love working with the elderly.
My disclaimer is that I will be sharing a lot of stories about working as and being a nurse. It is my priestesshood, something I took an oath for (and had to take time off from). I will use names but not the real name of the person involved. Blogs are for information and entertainment purposes. We see so many fragile and uplifting human conditions..what better way to learn about the human race than to understand them inside out.
I do not assume that I am on expert on anything. crap, I've been out for nine years and a lot has changed , but bedside care and an intent to heal people and to try to get a smile from them when they are in a not so good condition, is still my purpose. I do not treat conditions I treat people.
Nine years later it does not surprise me how many times I see other medical professionals treating patients as the job, and forgetting to say hi to them with a smile or asking about their family. Nursing homes are tough places to work, we see the same faces and sometimes get a new admit. But in that way, you end up developing relationships with people. You are going to know that Edith won't take her meds first time around but soon she'll forget about it and 20 minutes later take them without an issue. You will know Yumi will yammer at you until she gets coffee. You will know that 70 pound Irene will set off her alert constantly by trying to get out of her wheelchair but if you park her near your cart and talk to her quietly, she'll stay put and then by breakfast time you will find her asleep on her eggs and toast.
yesterday my confidence skyrocketed. I guess the crowded mind tries to figure out what was left behind and how much is really remembered. I have never worked as an RN in a hospital setting, I worked as an LPN in school in long term care, skilled nursing, assisted living and hospice. After graduation I charmed the recruiter at a hospice into training me as a hospice nurse. LOVED the job. May end up back there. But I did a lot of agency work and loved the freedom.
So yesterday was ease, the brain sparked alive by seeing charts and things i thought i may have forgotten. I'm still a bit rusty and won't be rushing off to start any iv's on a dehydrated or agitated patient. But I was able to competently discuss conditions with family members (teaching is my fave part of nursing next to getting a smile from the grouchy ones) , the cart was familiar in its stacked chaos of meds , I knew a treatment cart charting, I knew where to place doc orders. I could probably even shuffle slowly thru a new admit. Many nurses hate admits due to the paperwork..I love them. I love gathering information and although I am a nurse, my brain works to figure out diagnoses too. I think like a doctor and care like a nurse.
Nine years ago I went on hiatus from nursing, I was BURNT OUT after six months of being an RN. I had already worked for a few years as a CNA and LPN. I was disillusioned by the perfect world of healing and tasking that I thought nursing would be and was horrified by what goes on behind closed doors. I vowed to always be a patient advocate, screw the facility. My loyalty is and always will be with my patients.
In that time away I started a business, helped raise one son, and had another one. The baby is two and I knew it would be good timing to go back. My surgery was a week ago, to the astonished look of others I am back at work 8 days later (what's the biggie, guys?) I have been remarried, bought a house in Arizona, and found my place of heaven on earth at south shore in Waikiki. Yesterday the mini planets aligned and there was an audible click as I entered the nursing home, nine years late, and felt right at home.
Met with the usual disapproving look of nurses who work at the facility full time. Ohhh agency nurse. But I did not cower and act 'nice' ..I latched on to another agency nurse and she showed me the ropes. I felt ready to be on my own in two hours.
I love akai silks and will keep things running and balance it with my boys, with surf, and with the nurse job. but it's a wonderful feeling to walk in, clock in, clock out and know I just earned a nice chunk of change. Something that required school that was long, grueling, full of social sacrifice. I did not keep my license active but by the grace of Hawaii it was easy to get it back. I took a refresher course on my own (could have used the time better to just study from textbook) .
It is a wonderful, secure feeling to know the time I put in to the job today will result in steady pay. I can, by myself, go out and rent a penthouse unit overlooking the beach. Akai is good money, at full speed that sweetheart was a cash calf, and I put blood and sweat into it, and won't let it drift away, but the needs of the business have turned into wants and that allows a greater experimentation..and taking time off from it to renew. Akai is not always steady pay, you save for rainy days. Nursing is steady enough I would consider signing a mortgage in Hawaii if i found the right place.
With my first nurse check I'm treating my boys to new clothes and shoes and maybe some itunes for the teen.
I gotta go make a poo poo. Then answer akai emails. Then go surf :) Life is good.
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