the problem with mermaids..

artwork by Susan Seddon Boulet..

is that they have to stay underwater. the underwater kingdom is a beautiful world, but sometimes a mermaid needs to dry off and explore the mountain areas, the canyons, the heights. a mermaid needs wings

i have just made it thru another growing process. i had to revisit it a few times, over the span of four years, to really grasp its lesson. i had to suffer enough bruises from it to realize it was real pain and not a lesson i wasn't getting right. i had to stop seeing the situation thru blue colored watery lenses and see it what it was..a big illusion that led me thru a tailspin ..i ended up questioning who i was, what i was willing to give up, how i was willing to change and compromise, and what i needed to stand ground on

this mermaid is on ground again. of course the ocean is nearby ..it's two blocks away, and will always be a comfort. the worlds' problems go away when your head is underwater. the fish and blue-ness are the new reality when you wear a mask and breathe thru a tube. but wearing a mask distorts your vision. the nurse wants to help all those who are hurting. the mermaid wants to free all sailors from their prison ship. the mermaid wants to rescue falling wedding rings and return them to their owners.

the back has been hurting lately because the wings have been tucked so tightly inside..the burden of having to deal with a new path that was imposed by someone else, not asked but imposed. it was a requirement, not a request. it was a structure of beliefs that mermaid left behind years ago because she did not want to end up as a lifeless gray corpse on a BART train. mermaid follows the tide and the moon, not a 9 to 5.

the wings are still wet and fragile, she needs to sit a bit longer in this tall tree and let the wings unfold gradually. waiting. she knows her tail is there should she need to drink the blue water, but for now she will wait in the tree, until the wind blows just right. and the wind always comes back.

mermaids, never give up your water, your tree, your dancing, your mini-trips, your free time, your hobbies, your esteem of being who you are alone, never 'tone down' your blog, never wear a business suit if you feel like wearing a wild skirt, don't follow the eyes of a lost person and be tricked into thinking their world is better or what you 'need'. you can live near the water and store nuts for winter. don't give up your beliefs, your wandering, your drifting, your love, your live music concerts, your time with friends, your steadiness. walk the streets of the city but don't get sucked in and forget where you are.

above all else don't give up your children. for anything.

new wings are drying and they will blaze in all rainbow colors