should turds have their own birth certificates?

dont you think some of them earn it by their size, length or girth?

if anyone thinks i'll start acting more professional once i'm working as a nurse again i'm afraid not. i'm here for life.

when's the last time any of you moms had private potty timef

seriously i can't remember the last day i could enjoy a good squat on the pot in peace. my toddler wanders in, with a big grin on his face..oh mommy!! and proceeds to try to ambush me with hugs. and then he tries to lean over and 'see what's going on' behind the scenes. sometimes he'll even walk over to the side of the toilet , crouch down and stare at the side of my bare ass. i dont condone such behavior but what am i to do with my pants down

talking about more potty things, my husband didnt do jack shit for valentines day. not even a discounted flower from the store he works at. i'll let it slide tho since he came down with some toxic stomach flu so i quarantined him in the bedroom with the baby (we had OUR flu shots and i will refrain from reminding my husband that i did ask him to get his) . i'm kidding about the flower thing. we agreed to acknowledge all birthdays and holidays with an 'atta boy' and save our money. but..i do know i'll score all the discounted flowers left over today. it pays to be a store managers wife. i might get discounted chocolate too.

so while my husband was sick i was attacked with a sudden urge to close the nurse book (too much gangrene..uh yeah i really miss SNIFFING wounds to assess ..um..fucking gross) anyways i put on my cave woman fur outfit (figuratively) , beat my chest and said "oooo, me go make money" and went outside, busted out about $1800 dollars worth of veils. then came back in, fed the baby, updated the wholesale pricing page on the website (not visible now) so that wholesalers are not making more on veils than i am) and then started a full inventory on the soaps. today i may manage to take more pics if the sun sticks around for more than two minutes (gawd i'm SICK of rain) , then i'm going to cut soap (i wish some smelled like cheese so i could say i'm gonna cut the cheese), then despite my husbands protests i'm going to walmart to buy our toddler a new toy.

if my husband isn't nice to me today i'm going to put holes in the condoms. so help me.

so oh yes, a word of advice to other dyers. dont dye on windy days. it makes as much sense as pissing in the wind.

i have a tarp covering my work space and the wind would swoop in with no warning, make it loft and balloon over my head then snap down and about knock me out. my husband has failed to tighten it enough so it hangs a bit low, i have to bend over a bit anyways to work at the table but i also have to tilt my head to fit under it. the things we do for our jobs. christ. anyways it started getting really windy again and i practically threw myself over the table to protect the veils that were on it. managed to dye my shirt dark burgundy and i got splattered in the face with dye but it's a hazard of the job. all in all i do think a good portion of the crop should turn out great. i'm fighting the urge to do it all again today since i dont have to go to the post office tomorrow (holiday woohoo) but we'll see what kind of stamina i have. i'm out of gold dye so i'm limited. thank the heavens i have red though. i really wanted to do a lot of red and orange and fiery yesterday but the bottles i had ready were all blues and purples. its tough to dye colors you dont 'feel' . it goes in phases. today i have an idea for one but by the time i get around to it , the urge may have passed

for those waiting for more pics of the melt and pour fun shape soap i'll try to get some pics today..i've decided instead of offering mass listings for soaps in all colors i may just create a listing and you email me with color selection and scent and i'll make it up that night. i may also do the same for chocolate. did you know i can melt chocolate like no other?

well pirates, remaining true to my fickle nature i want nothing to do with a nurse book today so i'm off to enjoy this mini silk empire and kiss the sopping ground that i dont 'have' to be anywhere today. but that will change by tomorrow.

texas

today i made a turd the size of the state of texas. i made the mistake of piggybacking curry (my deadly sin), a bowl of salty sweet kettle korn, and some decently strong but piss poor instant coffee with sugar free creamer. the sugar free creamer was a mistake. i hate getting home from the store realizing i paid hiked up hawaiian prices for dairy that doesnt have sugar in it. sugarless things taste like crap. same with fat free.

but anyways if you are suffering from constipation that stuff works like a charm. as much ass sitting as i've been doing lately i can't believe things are still moving freely. it's raining. again. it's just that gentle annoying rain that sits in your hair. we were supposed to be clobbered with record amounts of rain but i'm still waiting. it's ok it was a fine excuse to not dye much over the weekend. i've been with the mini diaper filler and he's quite the joy to be around.

my neighbors are arguing again. well more like death screaming. they have a 17? year old teenage girl. my condolences. as much as i wish for a tiny girl i can dress up and be my mini-me i dont envy those who have young women who have hormonal surges and a loud mouth.

after seeing only glimpses of the sun for the past four days , i am once again ready for arizona. i have this idea about a business card, a woman in a gray world and ther only color in the photo is an akai scarf around her neck, the trails blowing in the wind. take my idea and i'll cut your hands off. just kidding.