two of swords

interesting photo..the swords are there in case they decide to do battle, makes you wonder if they are a team or if they are both waiting to see who will draw the sword first. battles are bloody..they never end well.

I sold off the teal Sim yesterday, in a way it has lifted a pressure that 'you better go dance since this expensive costume is sitting in your closet' . I do miss dance, but I miss dance for what it is and not for performance. I miss going to good live shows and being in that community. I used to think if I kept around one costume it would motivate me to go perform again. The opportunities have definitely presented themselves. I suppose it's part of that removal process..I'm still going thru boxes of old items and I think once they are all gone, I'll be able to carefully select new items that will represent the new ??? new something. Selling things off (and donating..donated a bunch of stuff to a local art school) is a wonderful feeling, i can feel my sense of responsibilities lifting with each item that leaves. I don't have to take the time to care for those items anymore..or feel that I should be doing something with them since I have them.

Moving to Hawaii has been great for that..I used to be a packrat and keep anything that I might use ten years later. But with a small apartment shared with two dudes..and I do get most of the closet, it's much easier to have boxes gone. I'm still struggling over this one item, it's a beautiful glass horse my father gave to me years and years ago. I don't have many items left from my days with him. This horse has a broken foot so I can no longer display it or it will fall over. But I can't seem to part with it. I also have a black kimono he brought to me after a trip overseas..I don't even know which country he visited but I've had this kimono since I was 8 or so and won't part with it.

Sometimes I wish we had no furniture..maybe a couch and the tv for Survivor and Lost although lately I can't seem to find time to watch much tv either. Am more interested in reading nurse material. But there's those days of mental exhaustion when it's good to veg in front of the set. We don't pay for cable so we just get local channels..I do miss the travel channel.

I think it's time to sell Fat Boy too..I love that board. But I recently picked up a nice steady epoxy, Dong, and you can only surf one at a time right?

But life is like that, you cut some things free so that you can invite other things in. I traded out a bunch of old costume items that I probably won't wear again for an ITOUCH ipod thingie and loaded the sucker with nursing apps and a translator app that is helping me slowly learn chinese. Enough chinese to start teaching the baby.

What will come in place of the teal sim? Probably something for the new nurse job. Probably a kick ass stethoscope and a comfy pair of white crocs. A drug guide. Maybe money towards a ticket to Japan.

But today I'm slicing away work..the past couple of weeks I have been working before breathing again. In mermaid terms. Today when the boys get back from their morning beach walk I'm going to go in the water..snorkel, surf, doesn't matter..but I'll do it slowly and not think about what I have to do when I get back. I won't line up the day of work and see how much I can get done. I have felt the balance sliding lately, that voice saying ..you're working too much, too hard, slow down a bit..summer is almost over...so I better listen.

I'll still fiddle around with something later. Load new pics, post new items. Respond to inquiries. But it will be after a slow session in the water.

heads or tails

no one knew which end of me would show up first as i was basically swallowed by a big wave out at 'kuna's' today. i really should master smaller waves before biting on to the lip of the biggies but i love the adrenaline rush.

on big swell days i'll fin all the way out to kuna's and park it next to the other bigger wave junkies. north shore riders i'm sure they laugh at us..to them these are not big waves. i don't think i've ever even been in the water at north shore. i'm certain i'll be swept out. there's something ominous about those waters.

today i chased Keola out..this is the guy who deserves his own statue in Waikiki. i call him mmmmastahhhh or sensei. i rode these same big waves when i was pregnant with Zack but lost my nerve after being out so long. plus i think the more you learn about surfing, the more you realize how completely crazy it is and you start to get spooked. Chris told me today that if he feels butterflies he knows it's a good wave.

A very large set rolled in when I first got out there. Keola started shouting at me, dig hard Jes don't look back just dig hard and look at the beach. I looked back and saw a shiny towering beast licking its lips...mmmm girl...I was the only girl out there, easy target. Seeing that huge slick face, I cowered, punched down thru the bottom, and narrowly escaped being rolled. Only to surface to see three more, even bigger, already cresting at the top. White water is not where you want to be.

After a rest period (obviously I did not take the wave) , Bruce was telling me shark stories and pointing out the black bird in the sky who was circling..apparently that means a storm is approaching. We have tropical storm Lana sitting underneath us but I 'heard' from the weather report that the winds were skewing everything up. So we don't know what may hit.

Sensei paddled back out after a quick breakfast on shore. I had made new friends and as he arrived he told me to saddle up. We weren't discussing the game plan for very long when another set started to form..he got on the first wave to my right, I started the incline down, I could hear him shouting something but his speed overtook me, on his left, I watched him thru the ocean spray drop down in front and suddenly appear on the left of me, and all I could see was his baseball cap and the rainbows that are made when the spray hits the sunlight. I wonder what would have happened if I had stuck a leg out when he cruised by. Just kidding Keola, you know I would never do that. hehehe

But..he caught the first one so I had no time to waste to get into position, it was already too late. The waves were already reaching impossible heights and the tops were starting to look white. On Kona days, they will crest and slough over and become sort of like a landslide. But days like this they can barrel and crack you in half. One wave actually broke over, partially, and then reformed, so it had a thick wall of white on TOP of it, with an incline on the bottom. I was in a baaaaad place so I faced the shore, took a deep breath, and prepared to 'go with the flow' as Keola had instructed.

i went with the flow alright but i'm not sure if my head or butt was going first. i am not sure if i was under the wave, on top, in front..all i knew is that i had a death grip on the front end of the board, and a full set of lungs. how long can the wave last? i could not see a thing, buckets of water were getting tossed on my head, i do know that i was travelling at a very fast speed , blindly. i wonder if the lifeguard saw.

eventually i must have popped out in front of the wave, or it softened, since i was finally in front of the white and i could see the blue incline. of course i did not pull out and rest, i charged the reasonable sized incline and continued the ride back to where most NORMAL people ride the waves at 'walls' . Ran into Alan who was having a good laugh and said all he could see was pink and black going really fast in the water (that would be me dude).

Ok i really need to practice smaller waves before I do this..but i was the same way with horseback riding when i was little..i didnt want to waste time on the small fences, i wanted my horse to jump the big ones.

Keola..i owe you breakfast. i'm seriously so lucky to be able to surf with these guys and get free tips. trade this for living in the bay area? no freakin way

Atlantis

photo by http://fineartamerica.com/images-medium/gates-of-atlantis-stanley-morrison.jpg


i wish surfing didnt make me so sleepy, but a second cup of Caribou coffee made by my best friend, the Keurig coffee machine, is keeping me alert enough to finish a nursing paper on obesity. fun stuff.

made it to the beach a bit later than normal this morning..you know it's early if you paddle out and the shade from the high rises dominates the water. our mini atlantis.

the morning surfers are joyous..we have a decent group of happy early evening people too, but i do have a special adoration for morning surfers. we've not been spoiled all day by hot sun and traffic, we are in the water right after a light breakfast. the cold water hits your skin, you squeak with delight.

this was my third day on ole Dong..he has really bruised me..my knees and hips give the appearance that i fell down a flight of stairs. they'll go away. i like being tan, having chipped nail polish, and running around with wild mermaid hair and bruises on my knees. waikiki is one place (i'm sure there's more) where you can truly live how you see fit. i could never get away with running around in a wet bathing suit and no makeup in san fran. too many city and career standards.

so, earlier i rated the waves as a 1 on a scale of 10. but social interaction was a 10. slam dunk. i'm normally at the 'wall' with the booger-board but the surfing side of the beach is a whole different crowd. one that loves the ocean as much as the bb'ers but for different reasons. i assimilate into cultures very easily and find it only natural to go back and forth between my two families. walk a quarter mile down the beach and there will be more regulars you have never met.

i've discovered that it takes about 30 minutes to push past the pain of paddling. my arms are crap still..it will take six weeks of three times a day to get back to where they were. I plan to have a kick @ss body too. you sort of get a second wind after paddling for a while, you realize how badly you want the wave..you dig deeper in the wave and use long powerful strokes. i can feel a difference already, instead of helplessly clinging to the board when a wave hits, i am able to easily push up on the board and allow the water to pass between Dong and I (sounds like a love affair doesn't it). I love arm strength..have always had strong legs , and the use of fins during bb'ing keeps them strong..but to have strong arms is a really good feeling. It opens your chest and you breathe easier. Veil dance is a dream with strong arms.

all the lessons you could possibly want from life are in Atlantis..

meet Dong-Hua

I'd like to introduce you all to Dong Hua, close relative to Don Juan (there is a rumor Dong's dad ran off with Don's sister and after an arranged marriage failed, they finally became lovers but once their love was found out by the Vietnamese lineage, they were both beheaded.

Dong, like Don, is just your typical guy. He's already been ridden by a lot of chicks. Don't (Don't is not related, Don't is part of another dynasty) let the cassanova type name mistake it..he's a total ho bag but their ain't nuthin romantic or remotely appealing about him.

He's made of a tough epoxy that floats well, like all turds should. Buoyancy in an ocean, surrounded by sleek Dings and Joses and Johns, is all this guy has to boast about. He's not a race car but he floats.

He's an easy paddle because he's been ridden by so many already. He's obedient and subservient when he is around other surfboards that are taller and prettier than him, or that cost more money.

Dong Hua is all chipped up..he's seen better days. His skeg or "teeth" had to be replaced when he let another surfboard hit him. He kind of deserved it though, he had no business being out in big waves like that with the pro boards. Dong Hua wants to be, but can't. He spends his life longingly looking at the other sportier models and tries to prove how important he is, but he is just a Dong Hua.

Dong Hua is the type of board that is a dime a dozen. Go stand at the right place on the beach and you will see that all the tourists have a Dong. Dongs look and act like other Dongs. But this Dong is special because it's a Dong Hua. And we know Dong Huas and Don Juans and Darn John are special people, right?

But..all surf chicks need a good steady place to start, huh? Give Dong Hua a chance. You'll likely want to move up to a better model when you know how to stand on your own, when you have the confidence to move on. It should be known that Dong Hua is the type of guy who is good for beginners who don't know any better, or who need more time standing before they can dance. But once she's confident, Dong Hua will likely be seen in another girl's lanai, starting her out on a life of surf and freedom.

C'mon gir..give DH a try..

the Tao by Jes

have you ever woken from a bad dream and feel like you've been on a really long ride? which station did you decide to get off? was it a tornado that swept thru and knocked me unconscious ? or was it just a bad dream?

i have, today, june 17, finally completed a four year long cycle of roller coaster bullshit. and i feel resolved on the issue. battered, bruised, STOLEN, played with, but fear not..my surfboard saved me before and it will save me again. nothing like water zen to float away all the lingering turds

what i've learned from the process:

hawaii is my 'now' home..it may not be home forever but it is one of the places right now i most wish to be. arizona is second only because i love sedona so much. in arizona i feel the strength my dads and brothers taught me. (mom always encouraged me)

the bay area holds in a grayness that never goes away. summers should be sunny and full of bursting light and color every day. but a house becomes like a jail and the cute mini blinds start to look like bars, while the outside world lives and breathes that cold bay fog. and the bay aint no ocean.

people who live to make money are missing out on some really simple pleasures. i remember living on the mainland and feeling a constant pressure to be type A, gpa A, militant disciplined A, no free time to breathe A. sure, we need good grades and behaviors to get what we want. but if the entire process of getting that A requires you to live in a grave, how many years of your life are you missing? it's not all money and Ivy league.

i have a friend who status means everything to. i urge that person to stop living to earn the recognition and approval of others and live to be happy. friend makes a really big paycheck but friend is missing the boat. friend will continue to lose friends .

not everything has to be expensive to impress someone else (if that is what you are after).

it's tough for someone on the mainland to grasp something like surfing..us surfers know it's like trying to explain a different language. until you are standing on a real beach and watching the waves, it's tough to imagine. and even then it's tough to imagine things like the feel of the board under your bones or the spray of water as it hits your face as a wave crashes in front of you, and you watch your REAL FRIENDS ride by. surfing is a time out. it's a quiet zone that is exhilarating and full of breath and rainbows from every direction. your problems are gone. you are , really, as insignificant, but as part of the WHOLE , as every piece of coral and every fish you are swimming with. makes your problems seem rather small.

i need to walk..daily. walking the cracked busy sidewalks of hayward california is not exercise, it's punishment. a walk should be near something beautiful. a walk should leave you feeling invigorated..not feeling like dodging bullets

the song Halo is perhaps the most beautiful song i have heard and i dedicate it to my husband. i'm sorry for running off. thank you for letting me go. i'm coming home. (but still like to run off :)

my husband never put me in a cage, never told me how i had to do something, never told me i couldnt visit friends or go out. he loves my dance. he loves my blog and outspoken ways. he never silences me or expects me to act like a lady. he would let me go to europe in a heartbeat, even if it meant he had to stay behind. he may not kiss me as much as i would like but he has 10,000 other good things about him. i'm sorry my eyes have been closed to it.

coffee is just as good when it's made with instant as when it's made from a fancy machine.

organic food did not prevent me from getting sick.

sleep is golden.

i'm fine spending a night a week watching some senseless tv program. not all nights should be spent studying. i made it thru nursing school as a single mom, working part time, and taking one night a week to dance with friends. all work and no play makes jes a dull lifeless corpse. no dance makes her die inside.

sure we can plan for tomorrow but if you are so busy worrying about all your future plans, you are not living today. a disease can wipe out earth tomorrow..would you want your last day here to be spent counting your money or laying on a beach in the sunshine watching your kids play?

i love akai silks. i want to go on to grad school but it won't happen overnight. i refuse to give up on things TODAY to make a path for four years from now. what a waste. i will have to cut a path thru the jungle to grad school. no sense on giving up all pleasures now for something that is four years away. one day at a time. one degree at a time. for Gods sake lets just wait until the nursing license from hawaii is in hand before mapping out a four year course. (two weeks..two weeks..two weeks)

i'll raise my kids to achieve their potential but above all else, seek and enjoy daily sunshine and happiness. for without those two things a degree and good paying job don't mean shit.

i've been living under a black and white world for a few weeks..but today i opened the door and before me stands a world in blazing color again.

i'm free

oh...and vortexes may not really exist in the way people think they do..it might have been all the coffee!

i hope they make wetsuits in pink

cuz it looks like this may be a new surf spot..we drove past yesterday and i was frothing and jumping around wildly..yeah water is super ass cold..but the waves broke easy and smooth..

forgot how much i love california, such diversity..and you don't easily end up at a dead end, the highways go for miles, unlike an island that is often like an amusement park..very exciting at first but once you've seen everything and been on all the rides, you look for a new one

i was born and raised a so cal chick but loved the bay area the couple of years i was here before..glad to be home. i have to return to hawaii and plan on going back and forth as much as possible (thanks to a travel nurse job)..surely all that bouncing around will settle the spirit :)

an unexpected treat

this morning i took zack to the beach early..yesterday i met up with a friend around 1pm and it was deadly hot, even in the shade. i can't stand tv anymore since we're finally turned loose in waikiki so not going out due to heat is not an option. so we packed up early and hit the sand by 7

we have a handful of mermaid lady friends (the guys stop by too) who report in early as well, we sit on the wall and jabber about nothing. usually they snorkel or boogie, we fed the fish this morning and that delighted the hell outta z

the last week of waves has been pretty crappy at least when we've made it over so it was particularly painful to see them firing, in sets of four and five, every few minutes. the wave faces were high, peaked, clean and perfect..and plenty of them. surfers were pausing and picking which one they wanted. i sat in the shade with z and drooled.

J must have felt sorry for me or seen the crazed look in my eyes, she had snorkeled earlier and had told me she'd seen some jellies on the other side of the wall so that ruled out letting z splash around in the shallow water. little bastards will camp out in the sand. she offered to watch z and give me 'five waves'.

i wasn't wearing a suit..,and i know better than to go to the beach without stuffing a suit in his diaper bag, just in case. but i was wearing a cropped tshirt and a knee length skirt. the panties were too light colored to pass for swimsuit or not offend. i tried on a pair of shorts offered to me by one of the local guys who rent out the boards but it would have wound around me twice and i knew i still would have lost his shorts..not a good thing.

so i asked them how much to rent a board for 20 minutes, they hand one to me with a pair of very comfy fins and tell me to go have fun.

there i was plunging into the water with skirt and shirt on. i noticed a few curious looks from tourists..but a mermaid must go to the water. was out there long enough to greet everyone, get a few waves, and relax the entire body for the rest of the day. people who do drugs are dumb. they should just surf.

cruised past two jellies on my way out but it's funny how you don't think about jellies and sharks when you are in the water..

drive by...

what else?

absorbed some courage and paddled out to the back of the lineup yesterday, figured the expert surfers know how to turn and they won't hit me. i rented a smaller board and did much better. the exhilaration of spotting a wave and watching it slowly build, waikiki style, it surges upon you , the tail lifts, the board jumps forward and starts gliding. there's no other moment on earth and really, nothing else matters. it's sooo zen.

i'm still knee riding too long and need to pop up faster but arms are still saying wtf? by the time they are ready i'll be on mainland hehehehe. that's ok my love of surfing is going nowhere

i am devising a plan to dye and work akai sept thru april and work as a nurse at a temp agency late apr thru august.

learning to ride again

today the full moon (almost) energy made me buggy as all hell..late in the day i decided it was best to ditch the boys and go to the beach on my own. no sitting out in the sand under a blazing sun picking sand out of my ass waiting for them to tote along their water and toys and towels..i had a date on my own with the water

our scheduled swell produced no waves, in fact this morning showed nothing but a lake with bare rock on standout reef. i knew going down there this evening may be a disappointment. the water was choppy from the wind and there were only a few ripples. nothing resembling the normal waves i give thumbs up for.

i drove past the beach before parking to get a quick surf report. i knew i could go boogey board, at least get wet, have a decent exercise routine, have fun, and catch a few small ripples. safety. or i could walk the length of the beach, pay money to rent a huge tanker surfboard, and struggle to find the balance that had long ago been so easy for my body. when you surf you don't always have fun. when you surf sometimes you go thru a lot of pain for no reward. boogey boarding is a day event. surfing is a lifetime committment. surfing is a risk.

i chose surfing with no regret and no looking back. got the locals discount for a huge 12 ft tanker. i couldnt even wrap my arm around it , and had to drag it by its nose to the water. in the past i'd be carrying my 8'6 Fat Boy and plopping him down in the water, and gliding on in one fluid motion. My body doesnt remember how to do that and i mighta popped an implant had i attempted it today. the board was so long i could barely control it and turn it. it was like navigating a canoe.

but somehow i got on..no arm strength any more to hoist myself on. had to struggle on like a tourist. paddling wasnt too bad, had to stop often and whimper in pain but i made it out to the beginners line up, chose who looked like they had more control of their board than me, and waited

was pleasantly surprised to find that i could easily catch the waves..not much of a feat since i was on a 12 ft aircraft. as many times before i get caught up in the motion of the board and stand up slowly instead of doing a quick pop up. must build arm strength again..will take about six weeks and unfortunately i dont have the full time ability to commit right now. my feet made contact with the board a few times just for me to dive off the side or land on my ass. water got pushed up into any orifice. damn it burns the eyes and nose when it goes in hard. falling off a board is so much more violent than falling off a boogey board but it makes a man outta ya.

i did 'ride' a few waves, not very steady but enough to satisfy my inner challenge goddess. or lack of. no shame in blowing your nose in the water and looking like utter shit to others. not diplaying the best body angles and feeling awkward, un-athletic and then having to admit yes i've surfed before but its been two years since i took it serious so yea i SUCK. yea i used to charge bigger curvy waves and fight for them and now i struggle with tiny ripples on a huge steady 12 ft board. up yours whats your point . hehehehe

but i remember back to when i bought my first board, Fast Betty. green and white with a large Steinlager beer label on her torso. it was not an easy board to paddle or ride on but i was recovering from a horribly devastating break up, and instead of drowning in sorrow, i bought a board and paddled myself out to the line up, started asking questions, and fell in love with surfing. the pain of trying to achieve was far better than the pain of heartbreak. oh and that heartbreak was bad..if you are reading this you fucker you know you hurt me bad. but i forgive. you gave me surfing. i needed it to survive. i was sinking like a weight and Fast Betty kept me floating.

beginners luck, picked it up rather fast. didnt know enough to be scared of anything. didnt know you could be knocked out by someone else's (or your own) board. good friend of mine lost a chip out of his tooth from having his own board come down on his face. bad place to put your face, don't you think? in the way of a big board. he named his board dick cuz he said he always wanted a big dick.

now i know the fear and potential. now i know how quickly you can run out of air as your board drags you under. i know how fast a hand can struggle to find a velcro leash around the ankle to release you from the dragging beast. surfboards can keep you adrift or drag you under.

i have feared waves and surfboards for some time now. on August 1st a couple years ago, in rain and wind, it was the anniversary of my dads death so to escape that pain again, i went out in the water. i was held under the wave for a long time, was gasping and terrified by the time i got back to the surface. instead of getting back on the waves, i kept falling off and tumbling more. i was falling and spiraling. i could never get over that day, and that fear..since that time i'm a big ole chicken shit surfer.

but hopefully today was a reset, when you go back to the very beginning of something and remember so well what you loved about it and experience every moment of newness again, when your muscles are awakened to their purpose, when your primitive self seethes the wave under a waxing almost full moon, you know the cycle has completed itself. you know you have served your sentence, you are healed from the breakup, you trust in love again, you get back on the board, and you ride the wave fearless.

am drunk on sunshine

aloha mateys, at last there is an internet connection from the condo. so far my only times to post quickly to facebook or check in are the rare moments when Zack is asleep ..or when Zack is asleep. i had no idea what i was getting myself into by taking him to Oahu, on my own, for two weeks. it's an...adventure.

not sure where the energy is coming from, surely the heat of late summer will have me cursing over things that are a welcome sight right now. the pulse of a city that never sleeps. my first night was in a hotel room because we had no electricity at the condo ..and well i have a baby. flying back home was no option. so i stayed in the heart of waikiki till today when they switched the electric back on. i was up rather late both nights, i remember staying the night in waikiki a couple years ago, in a penthouse overlooking Kuhio ave, and remembering the nonstop activity. our condo is pretty close to it all, we are over on the other side of the canal. i'm still very happy we are ground floor. i don't like elevators and not having immediate outside access..it just weirds me out. anyways, the sirens and shouting and cars and foot traffic is just amazing. i remember hanging on the balcony a good portion of the night just watching.

the physical activity feels awesome, we have been walking everywhere. just a cheapie stroller and a backpack but we've been treading some major amount of streetage. every time we had to go out for food i'd turn it into a mini excursion. Zack has seen boats, birds, fish, motorcycles, buses, more people than he knew existed..and I think the sun is affecting him too. since we've been here he has started saying Uh Oh and ball and i thought i heard a bye bye. there's a lot of new stimulus to the brain.

the condo is just a place to relax, make dinner, shower and sleep. it serves as the convenient pit stop to island activity. of course we'll be in waik a lot of the time.

i talked with someone at the gym i want to join..it's a monthly membership but the initial set up fee is the killer. then it's 3 dollars on top of that for them to watch my kid . i was planning it so Zack and i would take a bus to the gym (maybe five..ten minutes from here) early in the morning, he would hang with the gym daycare while i worked out , then we'd catch another bus to the beach where daddy would be waiting with the beach gear. i'm going to try out the seven day free trial and see how it all works out. beaches are best when you are there early in the morning and a beach will definitely be cardio exercise..and is free. so i'm weighing the options and price. overall, just being back here will be more conducive to just simply walking and exercising since it doesn't fucking rain every day. it's easy to go walk to jamba juice or walk to the canal park to take Zack outside. the outdoors are a whole different world to him. as i said he's even tripping out on sunlight. wow mommy it's warm and pretty.

tomorrow i get a bit of a break from serving his majesty and am running off with a friend to the water. yes, a beach but most importantly the water. may be able to just paddle around but that is good enough.

i have a friend visiting on thursday who may be here thru the weekend so no concrete plans other than just keeping fresh fruit in the fridge and taking the baby on mini trips. hope to take him over to the aquarium in a couple of days. we both have blisters from walking.

i haven't taken him in the water yet since there were jellyfish and the suckers wash right up on the beach. i didnt want him to step on one. they should be gone tomorrow ..but if there's waves he'll have to wait one more day :)

we can't wait for daddy to join us. daddy is going to take him for a week straight. mommy's going to savor the goodness of going potty alone.

the return to perfect ass beach

yes all i needed was a strong dose of sun

we flew into honolulu bright and early sunday morning. oahu had been experiencing a two day downpour. poor babies!! but the sun had returned and the weather was perfection. we had a dim sum breakfast with friends in chinatown and then went over to check on our condo. except for some mild cleaning it's move in ready. it's small, the kitchen is dark, and i'll have to listen to people living above me again but it puts me within a healthy walk of waikiki. and i have missed waikiki. i had no idea how much until we revisited

being in waikiki is sort of like disneyland to a kid, there is perfect weather and excitement. we met up with my buddy Jessica who is now my bff X 2 and paraded around kuhio beach in bikinis. the water was cold to skin that has not formed that thin layer of i'm in the water every day blubber but it didnt take long to get used to it. as usual, and what i love about kuhio beach, is that the water was packed with tourists. on floaties, tubes, boards, just swimming. i dont know why i like the pool party atmosphere so much, certainly if i'm on a surfboard i would not feel the same way. but for swimming it can't be beat. the water was dirty from recent rain but i didnt care and neither did Jessica. she wore her high heels down into the beach sand..ultimate diva. her beach bag is GUESS. i love Jess , she's the perfect high glam surfer chick. we are both obnoxiously loud with laughter when we get together. we both love crowds and waikiki and since she lives about a block away from our condo, i believe we'll be spending a lot of time together. she runs a very successful esthetician business..if you need a facial or a wax, she's your gal

i got burnt. sunburnt. am still a bit sore but i needed a deep long infusion with the sun sooo badly. the entire island was colorful with perfect light, and large rainbows. we don't get too many rainbows on big island because our cloud cover is too thick. didnt surf, not enough time to fit it all in..but the waves were kona junk anyways. saw two friends who had not been down to the beach in months and just happened to pick the same morning i was there to visit. we made promises to 'hold waves' for each other in the coming weeks

honolulu never looked so pretty. all of the high rises and beautiful people. the movie screen on the beach is all ready for the free weekend movies.

had a phone interview with a nursing agency and pending my license, i'll get the job. part time, i call in when i want to. i might take the summer off and just enjoy the flawless surfing and high tourist traffic then work once fall rolls around. i'm envisioning spending a summer at the beach with Zachary, feeding the fish with him and taking him to all the fun places I wanted to show him. he REALLY liked riding the bus. i suppose i can work part time but will only work on the days TY works so that when he's off we can be together.

the priorities will be health and sunshine again..

nothing in gods sweet earth is better than surfing

dancer redefined

boy some days it just really hits you..i have dance in the blood. no matter how long it's been since you've shimmied, put on the right music and despite wisdom pain you are right back to where you were before. i was joking with a postal worker yesterday about his nice veins..seems i remember exactly how to start an iv after all these years. dance is the same. haven't practiced in ages but it's right there. gotta bump the cardio up to handle a forty five minute set but that should be pretty easy once we're surfing again. dance and surf go so well together. when i surfed my veil dancing was awesome..i was sooo strong

gotta dye some goodies today and i think the first set is for myself. i have an idea. second one will be for Mahisha..she's channeling some pop rock energy this way

photo taken at Makaha beach which may very well be our next home

my 100th post

would you ever plan to live somewhere because of the proximity of your favorite hobby? for example if you liked skiiing soo much would you ever move to colorado and try to build a life around it?

what a week. after spending most of it in pain, i truly appreciate my body when it's not in pain. i've taken it for granted for so long now. i have not used it when i could have and instead wasted its energy by working too hard. what ever happened to health as a priority?

a dream a few nights ago reminded me of utmost happiness. i was in a spot near the water, watching light turquoise water rolling in. the air was warm and perfect.

you win, water. i'm sorry that i forgot how to surf and how important it was. give me time, i'm working a path back towards you again

remembering blue curl

well i just typed up a mighty long blog about missing surfing. and then the screen went blank. dammit..oh well. i know what i meant to say

i need surfing again. i have never in my life enjoyed something so much.

pic of my sweetheart in the blue rushing curl

slipping into bliss

my husband was delighted because he found a bottle of half used dial soap in a box we hadn't unpacked yet. GET that commercial crap outta my house baby!

i admit, i'm hopelessly in love with handmade soap now. i buy from others and i make my own. tonight i popped out of their molds three new ones, a merkaba clear , a lime mint scrub bar, and a chocolate coffee bar with sugary flakes on top that actually exfoliate.

it's the kitchen witch in me and i can only blame it on the many raindrops that glisten our island, when i can't dye silk, i need something to do. so i started stirring and working with scents. the colors oh well i can mix those while blindfolded (but better not). i'm in love with the excitement ..i feel like i just discovered bellydance again.

we spent a good portion of the day near the beach today. i was taking pics of scarves near a gorgeous fallen tree completely weathered by sun and salt, Zack was playing with daddy, then we switched off and Zack let me chase him around while daddy went surfing. A local gifted us with a large bag of tangerines, I gave some of them out to others in the parking lot and we came home and had a fresh dinner. Made more soap. Washed away last week.

For those following the anti-d update I was suffering the worst case of pms demonness or SOMEthing but for the sake of those i lived with i popped an anti-d and feel so much more myself again. my mom keeps telling me..hey a diabetic shouldnt try to go without insulin just to prove something.

i'll be out again tomorrow doing errands..i'm so sorry as i'm behind on emails again. you know who you are. i love you all. thurs i am taking Lewis to the vet, he's scratching a lot and he's just susceptible to skin disorders poor ole goober.

hope you are living in bliss

the veil has lifted

Today I'm celebrating this artist http://www.flickr.com/photos/livingwilderness/37112050/

The importance of sunlight. After many many long days of gray skies (but not the flooding rain that was forecasted) the sun is racing upwards today and splitting light and colors all over Hawaii. Nothing is a better mood lifter than sunshine. I hear the state of Colorado has more sunshine days than Hawaii..too bad that it's freezing cold there! (akai was started in colorado, ironically).

Zackie is happily throwing blocks around our lit up room, the back lanai is flooded in light and the cats, after their usual meal, are already stretched out on the sun warmed pavement. I might join them..

but i'm not sleepy right now, sun and music energizes me and i'm about to lift off and do the usual ten thousand projects in less than two hours :)

i might go snorket at mid noon as the direct overhead light will make the blue underworld absolutely heavenly.

visiting big island and want to know of a good snorkeling spot?
http://ramblingjunketeers.blogspot.com/2008/04/champagne-ponds.html