insanity is the doorway to freedom

i can't remember where i read that line but doesnt it make you feel better? wheeee!!! we're insane!!! i like to move it!!! move it!! i like to move it move it!!

What some docs call depression. i'm still cringing at that term. what IS depression but an umbrella term to describe what so many of us are stuck with

Over the last week I have received a lot of emails from women who are dealing with similar issues. Ladies, I will not share any of your info on this blog. Anything you 'relate' to me about is strictly confidential. I have decided to keep blogging about depression and anti-d's in hopes that this blog is found by others who just simply like to hear they are not alone. for some reason its ok to talk about viagra but anti-d's get you stares like you need to be locked up

indeed there are some days i should be locked up. i went to jail once. an ex boyfriend who was smaller than me height and weight wise said some horrible things to me in front of my then eight year old boy. he told me he didnt want my kid around. my boy burst out crying. he lunged at me with his hands up to try to choke me so i reached up and backhanded him . yes, backhanded him. i didnt even nail him hard although given a chance for a repeat i woulda made sure to knock some of those teeth out. of course since i 'made contact' first i went away to the cop shop.

so there i am. convicted and put in jail. i like orange i told you that already. i couldnt help but giggle when it was time for court and they chained all us orange chicks up together..i guess that's what they call the chain gang. then they paraded us past the guys cells and it was like watching monkeys at a zoo. i guess jail guys like hot jail chicks. Jes the badass.

the judge laughed when he heard why i was there. the cops took my business card and looked up my website and said cool site!. when my 'crime' was being read aloud some wild chick in the background muttered, 'BITCH i tried to stab my boyfriend with a knife, what the f#$@ ms. smacker of boyfriends doing here taking up our court time"

christ i dont know why i share this. its not bragging rights. but hey you guys out there..you're all ok. that schizo feeling we get around pms and full moons..hey we probably outnumber the normal ones

if we can make it thru the full moon

supposedly the brightest of the year. shame that it falls on the strongest pms i've felt in 8 years. you know all that shit i wrote about tapering off anti-d? forget it. i remember now why i was put on it. pms that causes earthquakes and other natural disasters. seriously i'm the bitch. and i hate it. it goes against the grain. i dont like the sound of someone scraping their spoon in a bowl while i'm trying to type. shit like that.

so maybe its called pms instead of depression. maybe anti-d's like aspirin, fix many things.

BUT i stay away from anything that may be upsetting. i dont go out and cut people off in traffic. i dont write mean letters to customer service. in fact i do believe i'm friends with an insurance claims guy who i talked to the other day. he was great.

well the bright news is, if you have read this far, is that if you need wholesale anything, now is the time to contact me. dont worry this will go out in the newsletter. i'm no longer buying 8k in silk to sit and my house and 'be prepared' for orders. i'm now keeping smaller quantities and requiring that orders be paid in advance and a waiting period is required so that i can sorta 'make on demand'. That way if we move to arizona i dont have as much crap to lug around. that way my overhead is less costly (hey economic times) BUT it will require that anyone who needs veils be sure to order WELL IN ADVANCE of your needs.

and now folks, with a sun shining thru the trees, i'm off to do work. and to quietly chant mantras to get rid of this demon pms bitch.

calling out and flagging

it's seriously disturbing, when the sun is shining and you're just going about your business, when you find there are other busybodies with nothing better to do than call each other out on discussion boards and flag each others' shops. i'm not talking about being called out recently for the use of the word gypsy. i'll leave that to the bd police. i'm referring to the scads of etsy sellers and elsewhere who spend valuable time sitting on forums talking trash about other sellers' shops , making judgements, and flagging them to etsy.

big sellers who are mass producing items in factories are obviously a concern on etsy. etsy is for the hand made person/artist. their use of the term handmade it pretty loose. i can even buy pre-dyed fabric, alter it and sell it. the use of assistants is also a gray area. but no i'm referring to the big importers over seas who mass produce items and sell in bulk on etsy. obviously that is not in the spirit of etsy. they have ebay for that and that is why many of us left ebay.

but who makes the call on whether or not someone is too big to be on etsy? by sales volume? by success?

my store was recently flagged, i have yet to find out the reason. i spend a decent amount of time in the forums learning tricks of the trade and helping out others who are just starting. my instincts told me someone picked up on my decent volume of sales recently and flagged me to etsy. people..i make veils for bellydancers. i'm not about to monopolize the world with sales.

i imagine in their area of the country it's gray and cold with nothing to do. i wish i could send them a virtual cup of good coffee, remind them there is life beyond the computer and flagging others, just a nudge.

oh well i'm off to HAND dry some veils and take my boy to the beach.

here have a flower

my diet hasn't turned to shit because truthfully it's been shit for the past week. i knew it was pms but a fertile woman always wonders if' it's another baby spirit making her crave handfuls of salty and sweet things. truly life's greatest pleasures.

today was particularly tough after cramps started and i was at walmart (sue me) and in my basket was dove chocolate, lays chips and always with wings. the guy behind me was shifting his weight back and forth impatiently but i was ready to face him and growl that i was on my period. well not on but starting and that is usually the worst. the body has to shift into horrible wall street peaks and valleys and transform a normally calm person into someone who bawls cuz Izzy and Denny are back together on greys Anatomy (even if he is dead). sigh my husband doesn't understand the romance of that.

i ate almost an entire bag of snap peas. they were cool and fresh and crispy, they tasted excellent with the hunks of feta cucumber dip. Zachary clapped his hands because he got lemon cream pie yoplait for dinner with a cheerios soaked in milk dessert. yay mommy's on her period, we'll eat good tonight! wow i look at his little face and am almost terrified because i'm in charge of his nutrition.