insomnia

credit goes to the artist Hess Designs. this about sums it up

the evil twin sister of depression and the celexa side effect is insomnia. i knew going to bed at midnight was going to be a battle, i tried to put it off as long as possible by trying to re-create a resume from years ago and looking over the gobs of nursing jobs available in arizona (and then wondering why arizona nurses are complaining there is a job freeze? whattup guys? where ya lookin? i'm finding plenty..not hospital necessarily but do you want to do that to yourself?

shit you see the run on sentences? i for sure took two celexa yesterday. sleep was more like slowing down the breathing and having eyes half closed. i 'thought' all night instead of dreamt. later it will catch up to me and knock me on my ass and i'll be real bitch. but right now i still feel an uppity feeling that aint too bad. maybe i should go from 20 to 25mg but SLOWLY and not accidentally. i normally do not forget if i took the morning pill or not.

the feeling is sort of like having eight legs that want to run in all different directions. it's kinda fun. you feel very optimistic, almost as if you can do anything (feelings of grandiosity i think we called it in psych class 101) . dude i'd be the BEST psych nurse, i'd understand!

so we had another talk last night and are still yo yo-ing about that house in az. terms have changed again and we'd be tards to not take it. an OPTION we discussed was living in oahu for the duration of summer and selling the condo, then going to arizona in fall. i suppose that would be ok. by then my six month excitement at a new place will have worn off so we can go somewhere new

i comforted my husband and told him if i took that job in home health care as a field rn, i would be raking in 45/per hour. i would teach him some of the administrative side of akai and Marjie at www.fabricdesigns.com could continue to handle the wholesale orders. I'd surely have enough time to work on special pieces, really expensive shit that would be sold in Sedona and Scottsdale. Home health is usually very flexible hours. The last thing i want is a 9 to 5 for either of us. his management position pays pretty good but the store owns him and its hard to take vacations. if he stayed home and was my bitch i could work enough hours to cover us with health care, paint and dye as needed, and we could go find a closer than hawaii beach. i guess. hard to beat south shore in hawaii. but maybe i'm not looking outside the box.

i havent even had coffee yet. world look out.